I have used this title before in previous blog, that time I just pasted in the lyrics of a song of the same title but today this title is more about reflecting my situation now.
Yea... it is finally my turn to fall head over heels in... ... you-know-what...
it is not a good sign...
I didn't realize that until yesterday.
I guess it is still better to have this experience than not having one in my lifetime,
no matter what it will brings or how it will becomes, I am happy with what I am feeling now.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Emo....
It has nothing to do with my bf, not because of him, not about him or what so ever...
These two days maybe I have rest too much, I have been thinking... News from my friend about her relationship with the bf definitely affects me, I just start thinking there will be times when me n my bf need to face that kind of situation.
I am very easily affected by people emotion, news around me or even TV shows and drama. I stressed easily too, I compare myself to other people, I care about how people think about me and how do I look to other people. A friend once asked a question, ' how do u write a 'L' on your forehead?' and the answer is if u write a mirrored L , that's mean you care about what people think about you.
Yes I admit that, I wrote a mirrored 'L'. I m always like that in fact. I don't want to be a weirdo or a superstar, I want to blend in, be a part of the majority and feel comfortable with myself in that circle. Maybe I am just too afraid to be better or worse?? because I can't deal with attentions and stress??
I like friends, even I have a very loving bf, that's not enough for me. What will happen to me if one day we break up? Who should I lean to then? Who will lend me an ear, a shoulder? It is not easy to make new friends after you are attached...just it is bit different from before..
Steven treats me very well.... It is just that I still don't feel secure enough in this environment I am in now. Living in oversea, about to graduating, employments, where to go or where to stay.... Head aching...
Haih... emo enough... must get back to work...
These two days maybe I have rest too much, I have been thinking... News from my friend about her relationship with the bf definitely affects me, I just start thinking there will be times when me n my bf need to face that kind of situation.
I am very easily affected by people emotion, news around me or even TV shows and drama. I stressed easily too, I compare myself to other people, I care about how people think about me and how do I look to other people. A friend once asked a question, ' how do u write a 'L' on your forehead?' and the answer is if u write a mirrored L , that's mean you care about what people think about you.
Yes I admit that, I wrote a mirrored 'L'. I m always like that in fact. I don't want to be a weirdo or a superstar, I want to blend in, be a part of the majority and feel comfortable with myself in that circle. Maybe I am just too afraid to be better or worse?? because I can't deal with attentions and stress??
I like friends, even I have a very loving bf, that's not enough for me. What will happen to me if one day we break up? Who should I lean to then? Who will lend me an ear, a shoulder? It is not easy to make new friends after you are attached...just it is bit different from before..
Steven treats me very well.... It is just that I still don't feel secure enough in this environment I am in now. Living in oversea, about to graduating, employments, where to go or where to stay.... Head aching...
Haih... emo enough... must get back to work...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Research Studio
The coming week is the fifth week of study week, have been busy with my study ever since semester started. We already had submission on the second week and it was a quite stressful one. Me and Rhun Ing were doing group work together, we really wanted to have a good start so we put lots of effort. That first submission was quite successful and so did the second submission.
Now we are under some invisible pressure to produce a huge, solid ambitious work due to the fact the lecturers has recognized our abilities. It is good in a sense we really have a good start but we also set a bar too high for ourselves. I don't know what is my partner's opinion about this, at least this is how I feel now.
I am struggling with my coming submission this week which still a group work with Rhun Ing and we have to produce a sufficient amount of work because we decided to stick together while others are doing individual work now. Working in a group is great especially when your group member is your housemate, it really make things easier and very convenient. This third submission is due on this Friday and we haven't started any significant work yet, this worries me. So it is very obvious I am going to spend my Sunday to Thursday all day at home to do work... which this is already the life pattern I have since week 2.
I really can't believe that I have so less time for myself when I only study one subject this semester...I was really really refuse to accept this fact until recently. At first I thought since I only doing one subject I will go looking for a job, now I really have to becareful about my decision, should I work or not?? I guess I will delicate some time to think about it after this submission.
Now is time to go back to my work... Gambate!! AZA AZA Fighting!!
Now we are under some invisible pressure to produce a huge, solid ambitious work due to the fact the lecturers has recognized our abilities. It is good in a sense we really have a good start but we also set a bar too high for ourselves. I don't know what is my partner's opinion about this, at least this is how I feel now.
I am struggling with my coming submission this week which still a group work with Rhun Ing and we have to produce a sufficient amount of work because we decided to stick together while others are doing individual work now. Working in a group is great especially when your group member is your housemate, it really make things easier and very convenient. This third submission is due on this Friday and we haven't started any significant work yet, this worries me. So it is very obvious I am going to spend my Sunday to Thursday all day at home to do work... which this is already the life pattern I have since week 2.
I really can't believe that I have so less time for myself when I only study one subject this semester...I was really really refuse to accept this fact until recently. At first I thought since I only doing one subject I will go looking for a job, now I really have to becareful about my decision, should I work or not?? I guess I will delicate some time to think about it after this submission.
Now is time to go back to my work... Gambate!! AZA AZA Fighting!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
January
It has been 13 days since I came back to Malaysia. The feeling I felt the moment I saw my parents is still fresh, the hugs are still memorable, I should have make a more drama reunion, maybe a few drops of tear will help. ^^
I spent my first week in my hometown, Kemaman. Didn't contact anyone, whoever, no one. Was really enjoying my own time, relaxing at home all day, dinners with family, many hours of naps... felt so good.
Now I am back to KL... this time I learnt, not to arrange all the time for meeting friends, I give myself enough personal time so I won't feel so hectic... still want to maintain the holiday mood that I just developed. Had 1 dinner, 1 yum char, 1 day out, 1 great conversation and 1 pasar malam so far... they are all good.
I think old friends are treasure... they are like plants, something grows in time. You won't suddenly have a big tree, you need time for a small tree to grow. I am talking about years here, not 1 year, 2 years but 5 years, 6 years even close to 10 years. I am blessed that I did plant some friendship seeds when I was younger so today when I come back here, I can enjoy the companions of my dear friends.
This year is my year, the year of rat. Feel myself so old now... See the changes around me and my friends it really say something about becoming older... friends getting engaged, getting married, some even already pregnant; someone working in oversea, someone going to work oversea, someone got a promotion... We talk about these topic nowadays and that's really all that we care about now.
Hehe.. getting old la, have to admit it and be more responsible to myself. Must remember my new year resolutions and work hard on them and have a non-regret year!
Happy Chinese New Year to everyone ~!
I spent my first week in my hometown, Kemaman. Didn't contact anyone, whoever, no one. Was really enjoying my own time, relaxing at home all day, dinners with family, many hours of naps... felt so good.
Now I am back to KL... this time I learnt, not to arrange all the time for meeting friends, I give myself enough personal time so I won't feel so hectic... still want to maintain the holiday mood that I just developed. Had 1 dinner, 1 yum char, 1 day out, 1 great conversation and 1 pasar malam so far... they are all good.
I think old friends are treasure... they are like plants, something grows in time. You won't suddenly have a big tree, you need time for a small tree to grow. I am talking about years here, not 1 year, 2 years but 5 years, 6 years even close to 10 years. I am blessed that I did plant some friendship seeds when I was younger so today when I come back here, I can enjoy the companions of my dear friends.
This year is my year, the year of rat. Feel myself so old now... See the changes around me and my friends it really say something about becoming older... friends getting engaged, getting married, some even already pregnant; someone working in oversea, someone going to work oversea, someone got a promotion... We talk about these topic nowadays and that's really all that we care about now.
Hehe.. getting old la, have to admit it and be more responsible to myself. Must remember my new year resolutions and work hard on them and have a non-regret year!
Happy Chinese New Year to everyone ~!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Happy 2008~~
I celebrated new year eve with the most people in my life ever, 22,000 people together including me and friends all packed in Mrs Macquarie Chair to see 2008 Harbour Bridge Firework. 2008 new year eve is the most hot, sweaty, packed, tiring day I ever had but it is all worthwhile when the Harbour Bridge firework starts.... I am so impressed. ^^ 2008 year must be a good year!!
New Year Resolutions:
1. Be Good, especially in study. Must study hard, study smart and be able to graduate this end of the year.
2. Plan for future. Start applying job, part time or full time... step by step to get ready for future employment.
3. Be punctual and learn time management.
New Year Resolutions:
1. Be Good, especially in study. Must study hard, study smart and be able to graduate this end of the year.
2. Plan for future. Start applying job, part time or full time... step by step to get ready for future employment.
3. Be punctual and learn time management.
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