Emo....

It has nothing to do with my bf, not because of him, not about him or what so ever...

These two days maybe I have rest too much, I have been thinking... News from my friend about her relationship with the bf definitely affects me, I just start thinking there will be times when me n my bf need to face that kind of situation.

I am very easily affected by people emotion, news around me or even TV shows and drama. I stressed easily too, I compare myself to other people, I care about how people think about me and how do I look to other people. A friend once asked a question, ' how do u write a 'L' on your forehead?' and the answer is if u write a mirrored L , that's mean you care about what people think about you.

Yes I admit that, I wrote a mirrored 'L'. I m always like that in fact. I don't want to be a weirdo or a superstar, I want to blend in, be a part of the majority and feel comfortable with myself in that circle. Maybe I am just too afraid to be better or worse?? because I can't deal with attentions and stress??

I like friends, even I have a very loving bf, that's not enough for me. What will happen to me if one day we break up? Who should I lean to then? Who will lend me an ear, a shoulder? It is not easy to make new friends after you are attached...just it is bit different from before..

Steven treats me very well.... It is just that I still don't feel secure enough in this environment I am in now. Living in oversea, about to graduating, employments, where to go or where to stay.... Head aching...

Haih... emo enough... must get back to work...

Research Studio

The coming week is the fifth week of study week, have been busy with my study ever since semester started. We already had submission on the second week and it was a quite stressful one. Me and Rhun Ing were doing group work together, we really wanted to have a good start so we put lots of effort. That first submission was quite successful and so did the second submission.

Now we are under some invisible pressure to produce a huge, solid ambitious work due to the fact the lecturers has recognized our abilities. It is good in a sense we really have a good start but we also set a bar too high for ourselves. I don't know what is my partner's opinion about this, at least this is how I feel now.

I am struggling with my coming submission this week which still a group work with Rhun Ing and we have to produce a sufficient amount of work because we decided to stick together while others are doing individual work now. Working in a group is great especially when your group member is your housemate, it really make things easier and very convenient. This third submission is due on this Friday and we haven't started any significant work yet, this worries me. So it is very obvious I am going to spend my Sunday to Thursday all day at home to do work... which this is already the life pattern I have since week 2.

I really can't believe that I have so less time for myself when I only study one subject this semester...I was really really refuse to accept this fact until recently. At first I thought since I only doing one subject I will go looking for a job, now I really have to becareful about my decision, should I work or not?? I guess I will delicate some time to think about it after this submission.

Now is time to go back to my work... Gambate!! AZA AZA Fighting!!