Emo....

It has nothing to do with my bf, not because of him, not about him or what so ever...

These two days maybe I have rest too much, I have been thinking... News from my friend about her relationship with the bf definitely affects me, I just start thinking there will be times when me n my bf need to face that kind of situation.

I am very easily affected by people emotion, news around me or even TV shows and drama. I stressed easily too, I compare myself to other people, I care about how people think about me and how do I look to other people. A friend once asked a question, ' how do u write a 'L' on your forehead?' and the answer is if u write a mirrored L , that's mean you care about what people think about you.

Yes I admit that, I wrote a mirrored 'L'. I m always like that in fact. I don't want to be a weirdo or a superstar, I want to blend in, be a part of the majority and feel comfortable with myself in that circle. Maybe I am just too afraid to be better or worse?? because I can't deal with attentions and stress??

I like friends, even I have a very loving bf, that's not enough for me. What will happen to me if one day we break up? Who should I lean to then? Who will lend me an ear, a shoulder? It is not easy to make new friends after you are attached...just it is bit different from before..

Steven treats me very well.... It is just that I still don't feel secure enough in this environment I am in now. Living in oversea, about to graduating, employments, where to go or where to stay.... Head aching...

Haih... emo enough... must get back to work...